by AskMen.com
Ever wonder what guys talk about when we're not around? Here's your chance to eavesdrop. iVillage and AskMen.com have joined forces to reveal what's really on guys' minds ‑- and just how bluntly they discuss it. Welcome inside the men's locker room.
I must admit that playing the field is a whole lot of fun, but so is being in a serious relationship ‑- provided that it's with the right woman. But how do you know if she really is the right woman for you? If she possesses the following 10 traits, you better hold on to her for dear life or, before you know it, a guy who already knows where it's at will get his hands on your "goods."
Of course, this doesn't imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction toward each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer ‑- whatever the case may be.
10. She's independent
No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit.
Once in a while, like if she's had a rough day at
work, it's great to be her shoulder to cry on, but
if she can't seem to function without you and is
constantly after you, she will eventually make you
feel like you're suffocating, which is a surefire
way to get you running out the nearest exit.
On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you ‑- while still missing you, of course ‑- then she must be a great girlfriend.
9. She's intelligent
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the
bimbo routine gets real old, real fast. Instead of
being the one in total control, you'll find
yourself trying to figure out what she's really
thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers ‑- or if
she's actually thinking at all.
An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won't let you get bored of her. Besides, it's nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.
8. She's sexual
While we're on the topic, a great girlfriend has
to be
sexually compatible with you. For instance, if
you're into S&M and she's more the "fluffy
lingerie" type, that's a problem. The two of you
have to be on the same page ‑- or, at least, she
has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip
from time to time.
7. She's beautiful
I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important
nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want
to look good for you, but also for herself. She
should always look her best and be well put
together ‑- matching lingerie is a definite plus.
You have to be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn't mean that she has to be a Heidi Klum clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you're allowed.
6. She respects you
This is a biggie. Your woman must respect you.
This means that she listens to you, even if she
doesn't necessarily agree with what you're saying.
And, of course, she never tries to demean or
belittle you in any way, shape or form.
A great girlfriend won't ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.
5. She lets you be a
man
Do not ‑- I repeat ‑- do not get involved
with a woman who tries to get you to eat cottage
cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that
you give up poker night with the guys. You will
end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A
good girlfriend
lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker
night and all. If she's a great girlfriend, she'll
even bring you and your buddies a couple of beers
and make you some of her famous sandwiches.
She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow you to be yourself. Just like you wouldn't deprive her of going shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn't expect you to give up the guys for her.
4. She's nagless
There is nothing worse than a nag! A great
girlfriend knows this and
chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to
speak up and when to let it slide. You don't want
a girlfriend who will give you hell for leaving a
couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.
However, if you live together and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you're setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide ‑- not even a great girlfriend.
3. She
gets along with friends and family
A great girlfriend will not only help
your mom in the kitchen, listen to
your dad's stories and hang out with
your friends, but she will enjoy it.
She'll make a real effort to
get to know and love the most
important people in your life. And
she won't try to get you to ditch your
best buds.
She'll actually empathize with your brother's getting dumped and suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won't roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she'll be joining you guys when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).
2. She
loves you
If you have found a woman who loves
you for who you really are and not who
you pretend or try to be sometimes,
you should definitely hang on to her.
A woman who
doesn't try to change you is hard
to find. Of course, all women have
their slightly annoying habits that
their mate has to contend with, but if
she really loves you, she will be able
to cope with these.
Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you doesn't seem to faze her either way, and she doesn't really seem to care about what you have to say, she's either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there's no denying that she loves you.
1. She
makes you want to be a better man
Stop making that face... any man who
has a great girlfriend or wife will
tell you that she makes him want to be
a better man. She doesn't have to say
or do anything; it just is that way.
If you suddenly feel bad about how you
treated your sister or find yourself
trying to get your finances in order,
you might want to think about your
motivation for doing so.
It could be love.
Do you already have her?
So,
if this list seems to describe your
current flame, you, my friend, are
styling. In fact, you are probably the
envy of all of your friends, even if
they tease you for losing your status
as "king player." However, if the
woman you are dating is more like the
polar opposite, then I don't think
that getting serious with her would be
in your best interest ‑- but you knew
that already, didn't you?